ENGAGEMENT STORY: LUKE & DEAN
“We had a house, a dog and a cat and were quite happy with that! We didn’t feel we needed a piece of paper.’ This is how Luke and Dean described their seven-and-a-half-year relationship. “But we don’t have many gay people nearby or in our family really, and with many of our friends and family getting married, it became quite important for us to do the same.” So began the engagement story of this incredibly charming British couple.
Well, actually, it really began in a nightclub in Birmingham where the two met “the good old fashion way, face-to-face in real life.” Luke was just back from a trip around the world on which he’d come to terms with being gay. He wasn’t out to his family yet and hadn’t planned on meeting anyone.
But, meet someone he did! Luke described seeing Dean for the first time: “I was quite shy. I am never shy. I pretended to be talking on my phone even though the battery had gone on it so as to not have to look him in the eye. I don’t know, I got all tingly with proper emotion.” Dean put it simply: “we just clicked.”
"I don’t know, I got all tingly with proper emotion!"
The shy act wasn’t long for the days as their first date found them at the famous Nightingale gay bar singing karaoke and Luke belting out the theme from “The Wonder Years.” From song to comedy, Luke “came ‘round to Dean’s to watch Alan Carr. Then more “mini dates,”” Luke came out to his supportive family, they moved in together after two years and “that was it, really!”
Once Luke decided he wanted to get engaged, he turned to Dean’s mother for permission. “Family is really important to us and we are all very close.” Luke asked his family and all their friends. “By the time I finally asked him, everyone but Dean already knew about it!” So, it was just a matter of finding the right moment.
That moment came while the couple were in Iceland to celebrate Luke’s 30th. “Iceland is one of the most gay-friendly places in the world,” Dean mentioned. Luke went on: “We were on a tour and came to this gorgeous waterfall and I just thought right, this is it, but I didn’t want to do it in front of the group,” getting momentarily shy, once again. And, as Luke got down on one knee, Dean commented: “are you doing up your shoelace!” But, soon as Dean had asked this question, Dean knew that he was being asked the question.
Luke presented him with a ring, one that had sentimental value and a story behind it. “I’d gotten this ring for Dean for his 30th birthday.” Luke had pretended to be getting the ring polished, in order to get his hands on it. “Gay men don’t quite know what to do about an engagement ring, but I thought the ring I’d given him already had meaning.” “We didn’t even really know what finger to wear it on. Dean’s is on his right ring finger, mine is on my middle one.” Dean “re-gave” Luke a ring he’d given as part of his 30th birthday celebration.
Now, the couple is on to planning their wedding for summer ’18. They wanted a long engagement so they could really plan the wedding they wanted, “you know, have the flowers we want and make sure our guests can make a mini-holiday of it,” said Luke. “I had already seen the venue and decided I’d wanted to get married there,” said Dean of Tunnels Beaches, a Victorian-era bathing complex in Devonshire. When they visited it together, they both nearly came to tears realizing how perfect this seaside locale would be for their big day.
“Our guests can make a mini-holiday out of it,” said Luke. “And, it lends itself to my eccentric ideas and to all of Dean’s ideas for music.” The couple has quite the program planned for their wedding, which we will keep under wraps until we have the privilege of sharing their wedding summer after next.
But, when asked what advice they’d share with couple about to get engaged, they answered simply: “Go for it. Life is too short. If you feel love for one another, just celebrate. If you show that honesty, everyone is going to be on par with it.”
Luke continued: “Getting married isn’t a process, it is a celebration.” We couldn’t agree more.