We at MEN'S VOWS have always been a bit mystified about what guidelines to follow when deciding how much to spend on wedding gifts. When posing the question to etiquette experts – long established and newly minted – the answers are as many as the number of people asked.
For some, the rule of thumb is to estimate the cost of the dinner and multiply it by the number of people attending the wedding. For others, the math depends on whether you’re family, a close friend, friends with one or both of the grooms. There are those who say go with what strikes you when perusing the grooms’ registries; and, yet others that simply suggest putting “some bills” in an envelope and calling it a day.
Well, who knew that the pollsters over at Five Thirty Eight would have the most objective of data-driven answers on this most confounding of wedding conundrums?!
In addition to sharing that the median giving level is $100 for close family members and $60 for close friends, they also go on to share who grooms should focus on thanking first for their Tiffany & Co. silver set or their Williams-Sonoma pot holders. Turns out our older male relatives and friends are the most pernickety about thank-you note etiquette!
And, now that we know the how much, what about the what to give?! Some of our latest thinking about what to give includes:
Go for practical:
There’s nothing more frustrating than ending up with incomplete sets of forks, spoons or dishes. Be awesome and complete sets so the grooms end up with a functional set of flatware, dishware or otherwise.
Go for personal:
No matter what grooms register for, add something to the gift that personalizes it. Give the waffle iron of the grooms’ dreams, but add your world-famous, super secret batter recipe. Or, more simply, get whatever you give monogrammed!
Go for memorable:
Of course the grooms are going to cherish the bud vase you gave them, but they are going to love a unique experience even more. Consider throwing them a spontaneous seven-month anniversary dinner or going in on a one-year anniversary surprise with other guests!
Go for broke:
Spend nothing and simply write the grooms a meaningful memory about your time with them or provide them with your wedding wisdom that they can refer to as their married days unfold.
These are just some of our registry ideas. Make sure you peruse our other entries about wedding registries here. And, no matter how much you spend, your presence is also the best present of all.