The Supreme Court ruling on same-sex marriage culminated a decades-long battle for marriage equality and our constitutional right to experience marriage and its privileges. For many of us during this process, our commitment ceremonies, and later, weddings, were acts of defiance. Whom we chose to marry was, in the eyes of others, if not our own, the ultimate statement of contrarianism and some of our choices of how and where we chose to marry, made for added salt in the wound of "traditional" marriage. But, we continued to take a stand as we stood before the altar. For many of us, this was the only way we could be married in the world: bravely presenting our eccentricities as a minority in the march towards celebrating our commonalities with the majority.

No matter how loving our vows, they were, for many of us, written with a rebellious pen.

But, as marriage equality waxed state-by-state, our need for rebellion waned ceremony-by-ceremony. We fought for and won the right to embrace what we’d come to rebel against: a wedding in all of its traditional glory. From asking for the hand in marriage of the man of your dreams to unleashing our not-so-inner groomzilla, we can now promise our husband-to-be that we will be by his side in sickness and in health, AND melt down at the wrong shade of red of the peonies in our floral arrangements.

But, not all of the traditions of marriage apply to two grooms. Call it rebellion or relevance, no matter how traditional we want our wedding to be, some of the rules have to be rewritten. In this exciting new world, the book of marriage needs a new edition. So, the question for men planning to marry is:

How much ritual and how much rebellion?

To start to answer this question let's start with tradition. There is no underestimating the overwhelming sense of belonging that comes from following millennia of other couples who have made their way down the aisle. And, while at the head of the aisle, before friends and family, two men might want to experience the joy others have in hearing themselves recite the most familiar of vows.

Tradition strengthens the bond between people getting married and among those who have married.

Now, what of those traditions defined by gender roles and which no longer apply to two men? For example, who asks whom: "Will you be my husband?" And, absent a diamond ring, what does one offer the other as a symbol of the commitment to be together forever? Furthermore, who is escorted down the aisle and who gets left out at the first dance? Rewriting these rites now calls for our creative pen.

Individuality emboldens the bond between two men who chose to wed.

Ultimately, your wedding is yours to dream about and make a reality. The choices you make will make your wedding uniquely yours, no matter what parts of it you share with others. Don’t underestimate the belonging that comes in following tradition, and don’t shy away from the independence you will feel in finding your own way to express your love. Because, no matter the marriage, each and every one is another page in the new edition of the book of love.

Click below to read our articles for the April "Ritual or Rebellion" edition of Men's Vows

Ritual or Rebellion

The Ring Conundrum: When Two Type A's Wed

Pointers from an Unconventional Officiant

Breathtaking Honeymoon Destinations

The Gift of Receiving

Style Guide: Ritual or Rebellion