YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO... NOT ATTEND

Photo: Jessica Sherrell

One of the wedding planning challenges most often cited by grooms is how to manage their guest list. As the main driver of a budget, who to invite can be the main driver of tension when planning one’s wedding. 

For some, the challenge is as simple as how many will the budget allow. But, that math can quickly get complicated when one of the grooms is eager to push the budget and strain the planning experience.

For others, the challenge can get much more nuanced. What about the college bestie your better half simply can’t stand? Or, how about those people who invited you to their wedding, compelling you to return the gesture? Do you invite the relative who has not been overtly supportive (or evenly openly opposed to) your marriage?

And, in a place like Dallas, where southern charm and proper upbringing rules the day, what is a good-mannered groom to do? 

Our suggestion is the “you’re invited to not attend” invite or the “just for you” wedding announcement. 

Simply put, this is a heartfelt and personalized nod to those guests you aren’t able to include in your wedding day, but are eager to include in your wedded life. 

Whether this is hand-written note telling people how much they matter to you or a printed piece designed to resemble a wedding announcement or invite (includng everything BUT an RSVP) to all you’ll not see on the big day, the intent of this gesture is to be clear with people as to where they stand relative to your guest list and big day and, more importantly, relative to your days beyond said big day. 

While some might feel this gesture is uncomfortable—after all, you are telling someone they are not invited—but by actually making clear your intentions and feelings, any “sting” is sure to give way to a feeling of clarity and excitement for the next time they see you… both! 

Wouldn’t you rather know that you’re not invited than to wonder why not? And, we can all fess up to sometimes being relieved not to be the guest that just made the cut! So, go forth and non-invite people to your wedding. You and they will be glad you did.