Hank & Thomas: An Intimate Atlanta Backyard Wedding
Hank and Thomas met online like many other couples. “We first connected on Grindr when Hank was in Charlotte on a layover. I was so far in the closet I was afraid to meet up with him in person,” Thomas said. After a couple weeks of chatting I agreed to meet up, and Hank made a special trip to meet me.” Secretly, Hank and Thomas made plans for their first date to spend the day together at Lake Norman. “I met Hank for the first time picking him up from the airport and we headed straight to the lake. I was so worried about being seen in public with another guy, so Hank came up with the idea of renting a boat so that no one would be able see us.” The clever plan gave the two plenty of time to soak up the sun and get to know each other without any interruptions.
“I immediately noticed how handsome he was and his southern accent. Despite being so nervous before the date, he made me feel conformable right away.” Hank added that he also thought Thomas was very handsome, “However, he was a closeted 22 year old in Charlotte, North Carolina… so I didn’t really expect a husband out of it.” Starting a relationship while in the closet can be difficult. There may be some uncertainty, limitations, and many hurdles to cross before the relationship can truly flourish out in the open. Regardless, Hank and Thomas chose to continue seeing each other and give their new relationship a shot.
It wasn’t long before they realized how they truly felt. “We fell in love after spending the summer of 2015 together. We traveled all around the country and found ways to see each other every week, even though we lived far apart. After 2 years of dating, we really hit our stride. I knew we had something special and that we would be together for a very long time.” Thomas explained.
As their relationship deepened, Thomas came out to his friends and family. They continued to open up in conversation about marriage and their future together. As the summer approached in 2018, they planned a trip to Europe together. Little did Thomas know that Hank had a surprise planned for him. Thomas explained, “While in Spain, we traveled to Mallorca—a small island in the Mediterranean Sea. Hank had previously asked my parents for permission and planned to propose to me sometime while we were in Mallorca. On the first day, we were exploring the island in our rented Fiat. We passed a scenic overlook called Cap de Formentor, and I said to Hank, “Wow, that's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!” Hank quickly turned the car around, parked and proposed to me the the edge of the cliffs. Hank gave his phone to a random tourist who luckily took a great picture to capture the moment!”
Hank and Thomas planned an intimate wedding celebration at Hank’s parent’s home in Suwannee, Georgia just outside of Atlanta. “They have an amazing backyard and we knew it would be perfect for our big day. We were very worried about the weather, but it ended up being the most beautiful day.” Even though they opted to keep the party quite small, the amount of planning that went into putting the event together was a huge surprise for both of them. “We tried to keep our wedding small and simple but we still were blown away by how much goes into the day!”
Having the event at Hank’s parent’s home, the grooms trusted Hank’s mom as the wedding planner. “We could not have pulled off the event without her. I knew she would make the wedding venue beautiful, but I didn't realize how magical it would be with everything set up.”
On the morning of the wedding, Hank and Thomas’ family put together the finishing touches for the ceremony while Hank and Thomas escaped the house for a relaxing brunch.. “We were excited, nervous and still a little stressed that everything would go smoothly.” While enjoying the morning together, they wrote their own vows. “After we came back to the house, we got dressed and it was showtime!”
As Thomas and Hank’s wedding guests took their seats, the music started playing and they took their lead down the aisle. “Once the wedding started we decided we would just enjoy the moment and not worry about all the details. The wedding and reception were extremely emotional but above all we felt love. Love from each other, our friends and our families.” Hank and Thomas stood hand and hand in front of the outdoor fireplace. All their loved sat listening as they began to read their vows.
Thomas read, "Hank, you are my best friend, highest advisor, valued critic, travel companion, biggest fan, and love of my life. You know me better than anyone else in the world and you have shown me how if feels to be loved unconditionally
From this day forward, my heart is entirely yours. I will be loving and sweet to you always, even when the Panthers lose on Sunday. I will celebrate your wins and mourn your losses as if they were my own.
I will travel with you to the corners of the earth and when you are away, I will always welcome you home with open arms.... and Charlie (our dog). I promise to take Instagram worthy pictures of you on all our adventures, but remember that the best parts of our life are our private moments that the rest of the world will never see"
Hank responded, ”You showed up when I was least expecting you. You understand me, and accept me, in a way no one else has, in a way that I believe no one else can. You have filled my life with love and joy and you give me a sense of peace that I have never known.
With pride, immeasurable love and infinite excitement for what’s to come, I give myself to you in marriage. From this day forward, you will never walk alone. I promise to love you in sickness and in health, when the sun shines and when the rain falls, when your sportsball team wins, and when they lose.
Today marks the start to the rest of our lives, but I know that one lifetime is not enough time with you. I will not take our time together for granted. I am not promising it will be easy—nothing worthwhile ever is—I am not promising it will be perfect, as perfection is fantasy and we are here as real as can be. But I vow to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed, and to share in the silence when they are not.”
Hank and Thomas exchanged rings and concluded the ceremony with a kiss! The new Mr. and Mr. Allen greeted their guests poolside to get the party started.
“Our favorite part of the wedding was having both of our families there. As kids we would have never imagined being able to marry a man surrounded by people we love. We both love our families and having their love and support on that day meant the world. Our parents and siblings also gave amazing and emotional speeches that we will never forget. We also were able to raise over $11,000 for Lost and Found Youth of Atlanta. We decided not to do a wedding registry and did a wedding charity instead. We said we would live stream our wedding on Instagram if we met our $5,000 goal. We were blown away with the generous donations that helped us more than double our goal!”
When asked about what advice they would give to other couples planning their wedding they responded, “Try not to stress over the small stuff because in the end everything just falls into place. Most people don't leave a wedding remembering what the food was or how good the music was, so don't sweat the small details. Delegate everything to someone else the day of and spend the day relaxing. Also, try to enjoy and soak up every moment because it goes by in a flash.”
Hank and Thomas haven’t done an official honeymoon yet, but plan to make a trip back to Mallorca some day to celebrate. For now they are simply living and loving life together. “We are very lucky and feel like our lives are one big honeymoon!” For more of Hank and Thomas’s adventurers, follow them at @hankcainallen and @thomasallen6
Photography — Cayce Callaway
Catering — Marlow’s Tavern
DJ/Music — Jordan Jeffares
Invitations — Zazzle
Ceremony & Reception Venue — Hank’s Family Home
Wedding Planner/Design — Hank’s Mother
Cake — Hank’s Grandmother
