Adam & Kevin: An Engagement (and Wedding) Meant To Be

“Love conquers all” is an adage we all aim to live by. But, in the case of Adam and Kevin, it proved to be what got them through one scuttled engagement attempt and three—count ‘em, THREE—scuttled wedding attempts. This couple knows more than most how true “it is meant to be,” actually is.

Adam and Kevin met on Facebook while they were both living in San Francisco and San Jose, respectively. Adam had heard of Kevin from a friend (one who happened to be interested in Kevin) and took to Facebook to “check out this hot daddy down in San Jose.” His friend request was reciprocated, typical social media chat ensued and a first date set just two-and-a-half years ago.

And, as “meant to be” is meant to go, date one turned into dates many, to moves across country together (to Chicago) and to the realization that these two were headed for marriage. “I always knew I’d be the one to propose” Adam said, and set to planning their engagement on their year anniversary —his first attempt at popping the question—in New York City. 

“Everything that could go wrong on that trip, did,” including the attempt at making their engagement a participatory experience at a performance of Sleep No More, an immersive theater production. Both the production crew and the unruly audience made Adam’s plans impossible, plans that Kevin suspected were coming, especially given he could “hear Adam snapping the top of the ring box in his pocket!” 

It wasn’t until a week later, on the occasion of the two celebrating the purchase of their dream home, that Adam would ask: “Will you marry me?” “He was setting up a camera on the roof of our house to take a picture of us toasting our dream home” Kevin explained. “I was so overwhelmed by the fact that we finally got our house, that when he did ask, it was completely out of left field.” 

Adam and Kevin fully planned their “first wedding” in Palm Springs. “We had cakes picked out and everything,” Adam, who is an event producer, pointed out. But, the two realized that Palm Springs would prove too expensive for all involved, so they turned to their favorite festive city, Puerto Vallarta and planned another wedding, cakes and all. Invites were sent, hotels were booked and venues were picked.   

And, then… Covid-19 hit, forcing the two to cancel wedding number two. 

“We decided to elope at City Hall in San Francisco,” Adam said of wedding number three. “We thought it would be meaningful to get married in that building with all of its queer history. but it’s also the city where we met” But, once again, Covid-19 interceded. But, this time, so did Adam’s event production company. 

“They announced that they were going to start producing remote, or ‘broadcast,’ weddings and I volunteered us to be the first!” So the couple set out to recreate the spirit of their Puerto Vallarta jungle garden wedding, on a set in Chicago and even took some inspiration from the immersive theater piece at which they didn’t get engaged! 

“We sent all of our guests garden-scented candles” to evoke the experience of being at the jungle-like courtyard of a restaurant in P.V., one that they recreated for their wedding “altar.” 

Along with the candle, the grooms sent their guests instructions for the wedding, from how to use Zoom, to the program of events for the evening which includes the ceremony with Adam and Kevin visiting with each “table” in a number of Zoom break-out rooms, as well as the best men hosting toasts and speeches. “The whole evening took no more than an hour-and-a-half,” Kevin explained. But, given guests are “tuned in” from Australia, London, the west coast and Chicago, finding an hour-and-a-half that suited all those time zones was no easy feat.  

Adam’s sister-in-law, Hillary, who, on suspecting the couple would ask her to officiate, jumped online to get her ministry license. “so that when we asked her, she could say; she was ready whenever we were.” And, being mindful of not convening more than 10-people, the groom’s parents and nearest family members joined Adam and Kevin as they said: “I do.”

But, with the money they saved on the “satellite wedding,” Adam and Kevin are spending their honeymoon visiting each of the cities tuning in and having IRL celebrations with their friends and loved ones. This many times “at wedding bat” definitely deserves a world tour reception and honeymoon. 

When asked of their many planning experiences and what they’ve learned, Adam responded: “There are even more details to take care of with a broadcast wedding!” To which Kevin added: “But, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t go exactly as planned, because at the end of the day, I got married to my person.” 

Love does conquer all, especially when it is meant to be.