Charlie & Michael: Love Without Borders
January 10th, 2017 was their first date — and the rest, as they say, is history. Michael and Charlie first matched on Tinder in Kent, England and their profiles on the app already foretold what their future would soon look like. Each mentioned travel as an interest and had photos at the Camino De Santiago, a 800km walk across Spain which they both did at separate times. And while they were within miles of each other during their initial connection, each lived in different cities, on different continents. Michael was living in Sydney, Australia and Charlie would be taking a trip to India a few months later.
“I was not looking for a relationship at the time in the slightest”, says Michael who had 4 months left on his working holiday Visa but planned to leave to the UK in 2 months time. But Charlie had a different idea; “I knew quickly that I wanted to date Michael.” He references how different he felt toward other matches he’d had and how he was so excited to connect further — even gushing about Charlie to his dad and wanting to go on a hike to meet his parents upon their first meeting. Michael was a reflection of what he valued and what was important to him.
With Charlie soon leaving to India, the two continued on with the idea that a friendship might be their relationship’s peak. But when Michael asked Charlie to join him on a trip to do a favor for a friend, this quickly changed. George Michael had just passed and the two would meet on the train to pay respects with flowers — they both came to appreciate their shared vulnerability and loyalty. This was not a first-date, first-date.
Michael’s first impression of Charlie took him by surprise. “He looked way younger than his pictures and I thought I was being trolled!”. Charlie had not one speck of facial hair, the hair on his head was in need of a trim, and with winter oncoming, he was wearing so much clothing and was wrapped in blankets, he looked like a child dropped off by his mother. “He was also a bit ditzy. Given I was the tourist, Charlie took control of getting us to our destination in London — but we missed our train stop… twice!” But truthfully, their strong connection and inability to stop talking to each other was to blame. Charlie struggles to recount his first impression as he felt he’d already known Michael forever upon meeting.
After their 7-hour “date”, Charlie and Michael continued chatting as friends. It was not until Charlie eventually invited Michael to a night out with his friends, that the “feels” began. “When you’re dating someone, it’s hard to really get to know the person because the situation is so contrived. Typically, you’d have 1-2 hours over dinner to really sell yourself as a good catch — I hate that type of dating! It is so unnatural”, Michael says. “Seeing Charlie in a different environment, surrounded by his friends who weren’t shy about their admiration they all shared for each other, was a game changer.” Fireworks quickly ensued and this is when the couple’s relationship took a turn for the romantic. Rather than ending their relationship when Charlie left for India, Michael joined him and they traveled the world together for 6-months.
At this point, the two believed they would only have 6 months before the relationship would inevitably end — Charlie was starting a job in London and Michael would return to Sydney. Despite it all, they agreed to enjoy their time together rather than give into the fear of falling for someone that would soon leave their lives. As we know, their love story would surely continue past those first six months. To catch you up: Michael and Charlie met in London, and had their second date in a Buddhist retreat in Northampton. Their third date was in India, and they hitchhiked across Taiwan together for a month. The next month, the pair cycled across Japan and celebrated six months together in the Greek Islands. To celebrate their 8 months together, the two hiked across Italy, Slovenia, and Norway.
The two don’t believe they were ‘destined’ for each other. Rather, they identify with the Japanese phrase “Wabi-Sabi”, which loosely translates to "the beauty of impermanence” — the idea that everything ends is even more beautiful because it ends. Furthermore, that while the existence is temporary, it is worth cherishing while it is alive. The pair learned this while traveling in Japan together and felt it spoke to their relationship on a deeper level. With the distance as an obstacle in the beginnings of their introduction, it was assumed that the two would be forced to split. It would be an intentional choice that they would continue the partnership. “Our love is our choice, which is what makes it beautiful.” The phrase “Wabi-Sabi” is also engraved on each of their wedding rings.
As for engagement, there really was no big “pop-the-question” moment. Michael’s Visa would soon expire and the options at hand were that of getting married or staying together long distance in England (with no real knowledge of when that would end.) Charlie, being the more practical and analytical of the two, took weeks to deliberate what made the most sense moving forward. On February 1st, 2018, he walked into their shared room and handed a list of pros and cons to Michael. Only, there was only a list of pros and not a con to be seen. “There is only one way this is going to go. Let's do it.” Charlie said… proposing! Michael says a ring wasn’t needed with a gesture so convincing, although they did end up shopping for those a short while later.
On March 2nd, just one month after the engagement, the couple would get married in a small municipal court in a town called Ærø in Denmark. “It was quaint, cute, and had a population of about 5,000 people! It felt like something that was just ours. It was the peak of winter, and we had to travel across the sea by ferry (with parts of it frozen over - it was -14 degrees) to get to this little town.” The boys say that the night before the big day had a big emphasis on relaxing — with a fireplace, a hot tub, and playing games. “We picked this spot because it was different, somewhere we hadn't been before and would never have been otherwise.”
The ceremony was officiated by a warm and lovely woman, only after the cold snowball fight that ensued right before. When she asked “Do you do?”, the two simply looked in each other’s eyes and promised to love each other forever. There were no friends or family present at the ceremony, making it just as intimate and special as the engagement.
“Our reception was… ours. We made it our own.” The couple did not have the thousands often used to entertain the masses at an event, and did not see the value in using money in this way when they could instead travel. The couple booked an Airbnb in the same town and decorated with fairy lights and rented furniture to accommodate their guests. They designed a reception venue that was very much ‘Charlie and Michael’. It was a weekend affair, to be spent as a celebration with all of their best friends. Each was assigned a role at the second, unofficial ceremony — one would be the MC, an officiant, even a chef. Not to mention an objector (because someone else was in love with Michael, obviously.)
“Three words come to mind when recounting our wedding day. Gratitude, love, celebration”, says Michael — whose favorite part of the day was the vows. “I am a vows person. A total lover of words. Charlie sometimes struggles expressing his emotions. To have someone you've put your trust into stand in front of the people he loves and express how much he loves you in words is simply one of the greatest feelings you can have.While Charlie’s first word is fear — “It was a massive plunge, I never thought I would be someone to jump into marriage. This was a commitment to making the relationship work and continuing our love story.” The words that follow fear are excitement and hope. Charlie says his favorite part of their wedding day was just that it was complex and not traditional.
Follow Charlie and Michael on their adventures here and on Instagram!
