David & Coté: An Adventure Elopement
All Wedding Photos: Henry Tieu, @henrysdiary
“We matched on February 24th, 2017. I was visiting friends at the Grand Rapids’ Winter Brew fest and took advantage of a new radius of potential Tinder matches. On his profile, David had pictures of himself rowing crew (hot!), with his nephews, and harnessed like he was about to scale a skyscraper. He was tall and handsome so, of course, I swiped right.” This is how Coté described the start of his relationship with David. By contrast, David was a little bit more reserved. “I'd been on plenty of bad dates, and I was in no rush for another with someone that may or may not look like their photos. Coté suggested we should meet and I reluctantly agreed. I figured I had nothing else going on, so might as well.”
After a month of chatting on the app, their first date would be the Eli and Edythe Broad Museum on the Michigan State Campus. As David described, “It was halfway between us, and free, so, if the date went poorly, the investment I had to make was minimal.” He went on to describe being nervous as he walked up to the museum early only to run right into Coté. “All I saw was his smile.”
“I knew it was him right away - this tall handsome guy standing at the front doors,” Coté described his first impression of David. “We walked the museum making small talk like you do on a first date. As an architect, David made it a point to tell me about the one that designed the museum [Zaha Hadid] and to highlight specific features like the windows and the staircase. I was eating it up!” The two carried on with beers afterwards and were both taken by how easily the conversation flowed. Coté went on to say: “We talked about our families, about where we grew up and about our hobbies. We instantly connected on our love of travel; both sharing stories about our trips abroad. I wanted to hear more about Italy and I wondered how much more time another beer would buy me. I thought "Wow, this guy is really great!" David’s experience of the date was simple: “I left our first date, wanting to see him again. It was the same every date after and that feeling has never left.”
After a couple of years dating, David and Coté turned their attention to getting married. “Coté not-so-subtly informed me of his ring size and type of ring he wanted,” making the ring-buying simple, as did an upcoming trip to Iceland with friends providing the ideal spot to pop the question. Perhaps as a sign that this was indeed the time and place to get engaged, Coté had the exact same plan. The two headed off to Iceland with rings for each other buried in their suitcases. Of course, this plan was not without its stresses: David wondered if he should have asked Coté’s parents for their blessing to marry and, Coté having done so, worried that while “it was the trip of a lifetime, with each passing day, without finding the perfect spot or time alone, I worried his family, no doubt watching our social media, would be concerned that they hadn't seen any news!”
On Sept 4th the two took a break from driving and stopped along the rocky black coast. Coté grabbed the ring and set up his camera to take a picture setting the phone to video. As he walked back to pose with David, he got down on one knee. “My legs shake even now just remembering my nerves!” David instantly said yes.
“Coté had beaten me to the punch! I’d been waiting for the right time the entire trip and began to feel like I’d missed my window. The following day, the 5th, as we pulled into the parking lot at Goðafoss, I slipped his ring on under my gloves. As we hiked around, Coté stopped and asked our friends to take some pictures. He wanted to get some photos of our hands, displaying my ring. At that moment, I looked at him and said, ‘we need to get you a ring.’ He casually agreed and I reiterated it again. ‘No! We need to get you a ring, too.’ At that moment, I got down on one knee and proposed. Completely caught off guard, our friends frantically tried to snap a few pictures to try and capture this special moment.” He went on to express the applause and cheers of the fellow travelers made the moment even more special.
When it came to planning their wedding, David described it difficult to begin planning. “My family is on the West Coast and Coté’s is in the Midwest. We struggled for a long time just trying to figure out where to get married. Thankfully, (if one can use this word relative to the pandemic), Covid allowed us to take a step back from planning.”
After several months, David began seeing adventure elopements on Instagram and decided that this was the ideal way for the two to tie the knot. Especially when the couple stumbled on their photographer’s Instagram and who would later recommend the Pacific Northwest: “We were both taken aback and knew we wanted to work with Henry [Tieu].” David went on to explain: “Henry told us that, once we selected a location, everything else would fall into place. He was right!”
That was until wildfires in the North Cascades became a threat to their plans.
“We obsessed over news reports, local closures and even current wind patterns. It was crunch time and, with only ten days to go, we had to make the decision to relocate our guests and elopement plans nearly 3-hours away to the wetter side of the mountains. We no longer had our rental houses, our site for the ceremony, our photo locations, or our timeline. Henry bent over backwards to help in the relocation efforts. Our caterer agreed to make the drive to the other side of the state. Four days out, they found a venue who agreed to host the reception despite a policy to not host weddings during the week. All was back on track.
“Then, three days to the wedding, David and I get the news that David's Aunt, our officiant, suffered an injury and would not able to make the trip. "Is this a test?" we thought. After frantically throwing out names of everyone we knew, we called our friend Lauren back in Michigan.” A college mathematics professor and the most experienced public speaker the two knew made her the natural fill-in. “Lauren was one day from her own departure to Washington for our wedding when we asked her for the mother of all favors. She agreed with no hesitation and spent the next 24-hours getting ordained online.”
Unlike most wedding days, David and Coté’s started with a 2:00 am wake up to make their way to their location for sunrise photos. “We had been up until 11:00 pm the night before assembling our wedding cake. That's right, we made our own wedding cake!” Both half-dressed and carrying the rest of their tuxedos on their back, the two made their way up the mountain. Coté described: “The air was cold and as we climbed, a dense fog began to settle into place. The wind picked up and the sun crested. It was time for first look and as the sun began to shine through the fog, we were surrounded by the most beautifully sun kissed mountains I had ever seen. It was a time for us to be together...just us. Away from the world and on our wedding day. Nothing else existed.”
The two made their way back down the mountain to their ceremony with the small group of friends and family. David said of the ceremony: “Though my aunt wasn’t able to be there, she helped us create the perfect ceremony. We had many discussions leading up to the wedding and one of the first questions she asked us was why we wanted to get married. ‘Because we can,’ I responded. Coté and I both remember a time, not that long ago, when marriage wasn’t an option. It ultimately led us back to the Supreme Court ruling in 2015 that legalized same-sex marriage on a national level. We included the passage from the Supreme Court’s majority opinion in our ceremony. We felt it captured the essence of why we were standing together, in front of our family and friends, committing our lives to one another.”
After a quick 30-minute nap, the two joined their guests for their reception. David described it as “intimate, surrounded by our closest family and friends celebrating. Food is a big part of who we are. We spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking as a couple, and we wanted to be able to share that with our close family and friends on our wedding day. Another reason we chose to make our wedding cake. We are still getting compliments.” Coté added: “Our reception was simple. A beautifully simple pavilion with a large yard and a mountain backdrop set the scene. We ate family-style with our guests and set the table with David's late grandmother's china. We drank wine.”
Why make one trek up a mountain to celebrate your love for the man of your dreams, when you can make two?! After the reception, David and Coté made their way back into the wilderness for a final round of photos. After the short drive on a highway, 6 miles up a switchback mountain road and a 3.5 mile (1300 foot elevation gain) hike, the two made it to the summit and the perfect place for sunset photos. “We enjoyed every moment, ever pose, every laugh and every smile. Together we watched the sunset and, with a Bluetooth speaker, shared our first dance as husbands. It was perfect,” Coté said.
Of his favorite part of their wedding, David said: “I’ve had so many experiences in my life that I wish I could have shared with someone else. Our wedding day was one big adventure; one that we got to experience together. We didn’t have to spend time entertaining family and friends and, instead, experienced our ‘firsts’ as a married couple among some of the most epic scenery.” He further explained his surprise at how much work it takes to plan a wedding, even an adventure elopement. Maybe especially because of an adventure elopement. “Be realistic about what you can undertake yourself, and what you can lean on family and friends to help with.
For Coté it was important to prioritize where to spend their budget. “We put our emphasis on the photographer and caterer. For you, it might be the music and the venue. It's hard to have it all, so focus on those areas that are most important to the two of you.” Less pragmatically he said: “schedule time in the day to spend just the two of you. Take time away from your guests and away from the crazy and just take it all in.” And breathtaking mountain views with your beloved are definitely worth taking in!
Having climbed two mountains on to celebrate their day, David and Coté went on to host two more receptions, one in Michigan and the other in Washington for extended family and friends who all remarked on how genuine David and Coté’s love is for each other. “It’s obvious, true, and unapologetic!”
Credits
Ceremony Venue: North Cascade Mountains
Reception Venue: Misty River Ranch
Photographer: Henry Tieu, @henrysdiary
Caterer: Saskatoon Kitchens
