Simon & Sean: It’s A Love Story, Baby

“I was on Tinder and matched with this cute guy,” Simon said, drawn particularly to Sean’s variety of photos. “He was on a bike with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background, on a train in Japan. I could tell he had a lot of interests.” Sean cut in to clarify, “I duped him with the bike one! I haven’t been on a bike probably since that picture was taken! But you gotta put those sporty pictures out there!” Of Simon’s profile, Sean—jokingly—highlighted Simon’s shirtless pics. But where the real connection was forged was in how easily their conversation flowed “from the jump.” Except for the fact that they lived two hours away from each other.

Simon is in the Navy and, at the time, was stationed in Monterey, CA, a sleepy town 2-hours south of San Francisco where Sean lived. And there was the fact that Simon would possibly soon be assigned to Korea. “But because I am a little bit crazy,” Sean explained, “I said Korea sounded like fun!” He too had traveled overseas as a intern with the Defense Intelligence Agency. However, prior to pondering a life abroad, a first date would be in order and kismet would serve up said first date a week after meeting online.

“We discovered we were going to the same concert on the same night,” Sean explained. And not just any concert, but the Taylor Swift 1989 World Tour in August of 2015. “We were both with other people but decided to have a drink after the show, which led to a kiss on the dancefloor,” Simon explained. “And here we are 7-years later and 9000-miles away,” Sean added. (Not Korea, but Japan. More on that soon, dear readers.)

Their first “intentional date”—one in which one of the two made the two-hour drive—was again a concert. This time Billy Joel in San Francisco. But this is not to say that they hadn’t been seeing a lot of each other in between and continuing to enjoy how natural their dynamic was. Simon, at the time, was in graduate school and had a flexible class schedule, making regular long-weekends for the two easy to plan and execute.

Just one month to the date of their first meeting, the two made it official. They would be boyfriends. And, as Sean pointed out laughing, “He then left for Peru for a week!” Of the “long-distance” of their early days together, Simon pointed out that “getting to know each other over text and phone, going to each other’s home bases, doing different activities… the different contexts helped us really appreciate each other more.” “The distance in the middle of the week,” Sean went on, “added to us always being excited to see each other. And it was fun planning our weekends together!”

Their first “I love you,” however was decidedly more spontaneous. “Though Simon would come up on Thursday, I’d still work on Friday. So, one morning as he’s still in bed, and I am walking out the door, I said ‘I love you!’ It was still early in our relationship, so I was a little panicky and fumbling at the door.” “I just said ‘I love you’ back, since it felt so natural,” Simon said and that was that. Just as their relationship had unfolded to this point, this milestone was beautifully easy and organic .

There was a little bit more planning when it came to their engagement. “Because we each wanted to propose and exchange watches—and watches are so personal—there was no way to be cagey and each get the watch we wanted,” Sean pointed out. However, where when and how they each proposed was definitely a surprise.

Because of Sean’s love of all things aviation, Simon decided to pop the question at the TWA Hotel at JFK airport in New York City in December 2019. The iconic Eero Saarinen-designed terminal has been fully restored to its original 60s originality making a perfect setting for a lover of air travel. One funny thing about Sean’s love of aviation, however, is his fear of flying! “Whenever we fly, he gets anxious and has to hold my hand,” Simon said. Sean interjected with “…and take a Xanax!” For Simon, the venue was also representative of the travel their lives took them on while dating: between Monterey and San Francisco, a year and a half in Korea, time on the east coast between Virginia Beach and New York, to their current post in Japan. Of further significance was the date they got engaged: Taylor Swift’s 30th birthday!

After a two-day staycation at the TWA Hotel, the two flew to Paris where Sean had planned his “counter proposal.” “I laid out in our suite hundreds of pictures from our relationship and played our song.” They first heard this song at their first movie date. The track to an Extra gum commercial – Hayley Reinhart’s cover of Can’t Help Falling in Love. At the time, it wasn’t significant to either of them, but months later, same said commercial came on the TV Sean was watching with friends and all of a sudden he spontaneously burst into tears of realization. “Hearing it made me realize that Simon was the one.”

It was already in the cards for the two of them to move in together in Virginia Beach following the engagement which, if you’ve been following along, was months prior to the moment the world over was told to hunker down. The first part of the pandemic was easy, but it was less so upon being transferred to Japan in November of 2020. “The first few weeks were rough. 17-days strictly quarantined in a tiny hotel room where we were served Rice-Krispy treats with almost every meal and nothing else to do left me feeling like ‘I didn’t sign up for this!’ But I had and so we worked through a challenging moment in the relationship,” Sean shared. Simon, the pragmatist in the relationship, appreciated Sean’s frustration and learned that sometimes one simply must empathize, rather than problem solve.

What was meant to be a 6-month engagement turned into a 2-year one, thanks to Covid. But before the two knew it, May 2022 came ‘round and they were back at the TWA Hotel for their wedding.

Escorted by their mothers, the two made their way to the hotel’s Sunken Lounge to the dulcet tones of…. you guessed it… Taylor Swift’s Blank Space, arranged for string quartet. They stood before their officiant, a mutual friend, exchanged original vows, kissed, and were married.

“We didn’t want guests to sit through a long ceremony,” Simon pointed out. And one doesn’t need a long ceremony to have stand out moments. One, for Sean, was seeing Simon process in his naval uniform alongside his mother who wore a traditional Korean wedding dress, or hanbok. Their choice of dress symbolizing how far the acceptance of gay couples has come.

“It is true what they say, but especially of the reception. It flies by!” Sean highlighted. Siblings made speeches, Sean and his mother did a choreographed number, people took to the photobooth, and Taylor Swift—in the form of a cardboard standee sent to them by friends in Japan—crowdsurfed! “We danced to The Isley Brother’s Shout, and as everyone got ‘a little bit lower now,’ Taylor surfed above us all!” Seems only fitting for her to have made such an appearance at their wedding! 

“Best decision we made in the planning process was hiring a ‘day of’ wedding coordinator,” Sean said. “Not only was she so astute about what we needed on the day, she was also a great referee between us!” Simon’s advice was to “plan your wedding for yourselves. Don’t have a rehearsal dinner if you don’t want to. Don’t invite everyone you know. Don’t have a huge wedding cake.” To which Sean added, “gay men get the chance to rewrite the wedding template!” Their welcome event was pizza and craft beer at a local brewery! “We got so much more quality time with our guests,” Sean pointed out.

Further to this sentiment, was Simon realizing that after a mishap around a Peloton ride they’d planned with friends at the hotel on the morning of the wedding, guests don’t notice the little things. “They are there just for you.” Sean shared how, on not receiving their shoes on time, he got it stuck in his head that they needed to buy expensive shoes because if their shoes weren’t fancy, somehow the wedding wouldn’t be. “No one is noticing your shoes!” The two wore Nordstrom Rack and everyone spoke about how moving the ceremony was and how awesome the music was. Peloton and shoes and expectations be damned. 

Following an upcoming honeymoon to the Maldives, Sean and Simon are focused on making the most of the next few years in the Navy, while pondering their next chapters once Simon is done with his service. “Just a little over 10 years ago I would not have been able to be in the Navy and have Sean by my side or been able to be here in Japan as a couple. The military service member is always praised for making the sacrifice, but so should all the military spouses. It’s a big deal that we get to do this together.”

To quote the Taylor Swift song that they walked down the aisle to, they’ve taken “grab your passport and my hand” to the next level.

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