Officiating by Have Lover, Will Travel

We are delighted to share this piece by Liz Norment of Have Lover, Will Tavel, a brilliant officiant, storyteller, and adventure planner. You could want for no one better to send you off into married life.

“There are scenes in the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where older couples are telling the story of how they met. In these clips, you see the light in their eyes and you feel them letting themselves be pulled back into that scene again. They touch each others’ knees. They talk over each other. They look directly into the camera and tell their version of the story. They laugh, they look at each other, and in that look, you see what they are thinking- that it would have been so easy for this to have never been. This. This, a lifelong adventure that likely includes children and grandchildren, wild stories and shared secrets, pain and joy and true partnership, where there was once nothing at all.

That’s where my process begins, with the unfathomable excitement contained in that look. My officiating process starts with an interview and conversation that allows two people to talk about how they met. And from there, I gather the details. I send couples an intricate set of questions all based on their romance. And that’s when I get the good stuff- the pure magic shared between two souls that are truly connected; the magic and memories, the growth and learning. The adventures spent traveling the world. And that look you give each other that makes you feel like there’s no one else in the room.

I request each partner to answer separately so I can use each of their voices in the retelling of your story. As I begin to craft a ceremony, I aim to use a cinematic approach that will carry your guests along the journey that has been your relationship. I focus on that moment of unlikelihood- what if you’d swiped left? Or had caught a different train that day? What if you’d allowed for life to interrupt the potential spark and not agreed on a first date? Or what if the inevitable hiccups on that first date convinced you to move on?

I weave golden threads into each ceremony by including inside jokes shared between the two of you and anecdotes that will resonate with your guests as they sit and let their hearts attach to each part of your story, sometimes out of pure joy for you, and sometimes as a reminder of the beauty of love. I aim to paint pictures of specific scenes spent while traveling- that day hiking Machu Picchu when you both leaned on each other to carry on, the rogue scooter ride in Thailand that had you rolling into a rice field and found yourselves thankfully laughing together, the stranger in a cafe in Montmartre who smiled and squeezed your hands because they could feel it too- the magic between you.

I often say that the KPI’s for my work as an officiant are human laughter and tears, and in some ways it’s true. Your ceremony should be evocative of pure emotion because that’s what love is.

Once I send my first draft to clients, we begin a collaborative editing process. I want to make sure every detail is accurate and that the correct tone and sentiment have been conveyed. I include a dedication to your family history as a way of directly honoring your loved ones, which always takes precedence for scrutiny while editing- there will be no awkward moments or squirming because inevitably, family is complicated. I work with clients to help them write personal vows or provide editable templates to use during the ceremony. We’ll also include a personalized ring exchange and unique suggested readings to include and be read by family or friends.

The best part about being a wedding officiant is the feeling I get just before the ceremony. Because only three of us in the entire room know all the beauty that's about to happen. Then, there are the looks I get to witness shared between the two of you as your story is shared with the people you love most. I hold my work with LGBTQ+ couples in very high regard because I’ve found that maybe at some point in your relationship, your story may not have been very easy to tell. Let’s shout it from the rooftops at your wedding.

One of my favorite anecdotes from a recent gay wedding was the way that the couple first met. Neither of them had come out yet to friends or family, and they were at a Fraternity party in college, each paired with dates from a sorority. Ben was the curious type and not one for small talk and found himself snooping around the enormous, historic house. He opened a random door to what he learned was the laundry room, but among the fairly expected findings in such a place, he discovered Jaco, hiding from his date. They struck up a conversation, having a chance away from the party to connect. They laughed about this initial interaction for the rest of the night, but it wasn’t until they reconnected in New York years later that they felt the impact of this happenstance meeting. Let’s just say that now this couple is set to “Permanent Press”.

I always get lost in each couple’s love stories and also in knowing that their journey is just beginning. My company, Have Lover, Will Travel, includes both wedding officiating and honeymoon planning in hopes that I can help you continue to add stamps to your passport and chapters to your adventurous love story. The world was made for lovers to explore hand in hand, marveling at its beauty. And the wondrous simplicity of that is where our story begins.”

— Liz Norment