Countdown To I Do! Chris and Clay Get Married!

Photography by Scratch Studios

We are long over-due with the final installment of Jason’s “Countdown To I Do” journey with Chris and Clay. This talented and winning couple invited us into the planning process for their wedding last fall. In case you missed the first two installments of “Countdown To I Do,” please watch the videos below, and then… read Jason’s last interview with the couple. Covid-be-damned, we weren’t gonna leave you with a cliffhanger any longer. We can’t wait to see these gents back on the screen (and stage) very soon. For now, enjoy “Countdown To I Do!”

1. How did you feel when you woke up the morning after your wedding?

Clay: We actually had a pretty early morning the day after we got married as we hosted a farewell brunch for all of our guests! We were overjoyed and and it honestly felt like we had just woken up from the best dream ever.

2. What was your favorite part of the wedding?

Chris: There were too many great moments to pick just one! But I will share one of them. So, Clay and I met playing Jets in the Broadway tour of West Side Story. We had a couple of nods to that on our big day, but there was an unexpected one for me! At one point during the ceremony when I was looking into Clay’s eyes, a Jet flew through the sky behind him and it just brought so much joy to my heart. 

Clay: My favorite part was surprising Chris with something very special that involved everyone at the wedding… a surprise flash mob!!

3. What was the biggest surprise at your wedding?

Clay: Well, I was very adamant about not having any live performances at our wedding. Being performers, I didn’t want our wedding to feel like a performance. BUT I sent out videos to every single person attending the wedding beforehand and broke down all of the dance steps for a surprise flash mob. I think a lot of people were nervous that day about it, but it went off without a hitch. The whole time it was happening Chris thought it was a surprise from our wedding party, but then the best moment was when I turned to him and said “It’s my turn!” and I ran to join in the dance. Chris’ face was priceless! He was so shocked and filled with joy.

4. What is one thing you would do differently?

Chris: Really it was such a perfect night and our issues were very minor. We only visited our venue one time during the day, so we would have made a few adjustments with the lighting on the dance floor. It was very bright and we wouldn’t have minded them to be a bit dimmer. But that’s really it!

5. Was there anything that didn’t go as planned?

Clay: Definitely a few things. Mostly minor. But our friends who got married before us gave us advice about the big day and one piece of advice was to just roll with the punches. That helped out a lot. 

Chris: There was an issue with the placement of some flowers, but ultimately they ended up looking fantastic the way they were. I asked my dad to bless the meal during the reception and he had prepared a little something for that but then when it came to the reception, I forgot to ask him to do it. And we had a few wedding crashers. 

Clay: The crashers bothered us more after the fact than during, During the wedding were just on cloud nine!

6. What was your favorite aspect of having a destination wedding?

Chris: So, Clay asked me out on 11-11-11 and we wanted to keep our anniversary the same. November weddings in NYC (where we live) would be quite cold for an outdoor wedding. We had visited Palm Springs, CA the year before and both agreed it was the perfect place for our special day. Our favorite part was introducing this gorgeous city to all of our wedding guests. So many of them have said they are absolutely going back to Palm Springs!

7. What was your least favorite aspect?

Clay: I think it was just planning things from so far away. Thankfully, we got connected with a wedding coordinator who helped us make a lot of decisions and guided us through the process. It was a really smart decision for us to use her for the planning process. Thanks Lola!

8. How did you find all of your vendors? 

Clay: A lot of our vendors were friends. Our photographer, videographer, DJ were all friends of ours. It was really special to us to not only support them financially but also have them as an integral part of our big day!

9. Besides the wedding, you had a full weekend of activities.  What were the highlights?

Chris: Two days before our wedding, we went to Disneyland with our wedding party. The day before our wedding we hosted all our wedding guests with a pool party. It was nice to get special time designated for our wedding party and then a time to get to hang out with our guests before the wedding. That way, the pressure was not as high during the big day because we knew we had already connected with most everyone individually. Now, we could just party with everyone!

10. Did you tackle any DIY projects for your wedding?

Clay: We spent several months reaching out to different companies as we created this welcome bags for our wedding party. We filled their custom bags with awesome stuff they could use that weekend and beyond! That’s about as DIY as we got! 

11. Did you ever feel stressed during the weekend?  How much were you able to enjoy/stay present?

Chris: There were a few stressful moments with coordinating large groups, etc, but none of them were major. Again, we rolled with the punches. At the end of the day, we were going to get married and that’s what was important! 

12. How did you select your outfits?  Were you happy with how they turned out?

Clay: We worked with Jim’s Formalwear to dress the two of us, our dads, our officiant, and all the gents in our wedding party. We went with a custom black slim-fit tux! 

Chris: We also had to do something flashy so we surprised everyone with a wardrobe change for the reception! New tuxedos! We worked with Enzo Customs on building custom tuxedos for our big surprise. We chose everything from the material to the lining and even added a couple special touches. We absolutely loved how they turned out!!

13. What titles did you use for your wedding party?  What roles did they serve throughout the weekend?

Clay: We were in such a lovely situation because Chris and I have been together for so long that all of our friends are OUR friends. We didn’t even know which side people “should” stand on during the ceremony. In the end everyone was up there to support the both of us and that felt incredibly special. Neither of us selected a Best Man or anything but we felt very lucky to have a wedding party filled with people that love and support us!

Chris: We didn’t have any major tasks set aside for them, but our wedding party went above and beyond to help us whenever we needed it. They wrangled family members, they helped us carry stuff at the venue, and they made the entire weekend possible- one little supportive way at a time!

14. How did the ceremony pan out?  Describe the order of walking down the aisle, music choices & any traditions and how you made those decisions.

Chris: Wow, it was just perfect! The sun was setting behind the mountains and the weather was perfect. Our wedding party entered down the aisle as our violinist and cello played “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley. They then played “I See the Light” from Disney’s Tangled as we walked down the aisle together- holding hands. 

Clay: We felt it was a beautiful way to begin this new chapter together. That’s one thing that is so nice about planning a wedding with two Grooms- there is no specific way things are traditionally done in a gay wedding. We could really make it our own… with little touches like this!

And once we got into the ceremony, our officiant, Andrew Hodge, knocked it out of the park. He had everyone in stitches one moment and then crying the next. Also, when we read our vows to one another, the strings played “One Hand One Heart” from West Side Story.

15. Did you have a first dance? How did it feel?

Clay: Yes! We had a slow, non-choreographed dance to “Extraordinary Magic” by Ben Rector. I heard the song months before our wedding and loved it- then I played it for Chris one night and we slow danced in our living room. By the end of the song, both of us were in tears and we decided that that would be our song for our first dance. It felt so special to look into my husbands eyes and soak up the moment together. 

16. Was there any part of the experience that felt too heteronormative?

Clay: A lot of wedding vendors that claim to be LGBTQ+ friendly have forms that reflect Bride/Groom relationships. 

Chris: We used this as an opportunity to help educate and share that you aren’t truly inclusive if you aren’t using inclusive language. 

Clay: Thankfully, that’s the only thing we can really think of in that regard! 

17. Did you ever have a moment where you felt relieved you were two men going through this?

Chris: A lot of my female friends who have gotten married, had to deal with controlling mother figures micromanaging every step along the way. Not to be too stereotypical, but neither of us experienced that, so that was nice to not have to deal with that pressure. As two grooms, we did our own thing and didn’t have to worry about the expectations of others as much.

18. Did you honeymoon?  Details!

Clay: Absolutely! We flew directly to Hawaii! We spent two weeks total on three different islands: Oahu, Maui, and Kauai! If you are looking for recommendations, we truly LOVED the amazing hotels we stayed at! Oahu- Disney’s Aulani Resort and Spa, Maui- Kaanapali Alii and Hotel Wailea, and Kauai- Grand Hyatt Resort and Spa. I you want any more recommendations, hit us up on social media! We’d be happy to help.

Chris: Just thinking about our perfect honeymoon makes me want a mai tai! 

19. What is some advice you’d give to gay grooms currently planning their own wedding?

Clay: Do it the way you want to do it. The day is your big day! Embrace what makes you happy.

Chris: Yeah, have fun with it. Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. We had two wedding cakes and neither of those were “traditional”, We had a funfetti cake and a tiered deep-dish cookie cake (Both created by Show Boy Bake Shop in Vegas! Shout out!) and are so glad we did what we wanted instead of staying strictly traditional.

20. Now that the wedding is in the past, how does it feel to live in a marriage? 

Chris: We honestly had a dream wedding and still can’t believe it all happened the way it did. Truly felt like a fairytale! And now, living as husbands, it just feels perfect. 

Clay: We have been together for 8 years, so that not much changed in our day to day life after the wedding. However, it’s wonderful to be able to call the man of my dreams MY HUSBAND!

Chris: I feel the same way. It’s really awesome to move forward as an official unit and know we are now working towards our life together as a family.

Grooms @ChrisRiceNY & @clayricethomson

First tuxedos: @Jimsformalwear

Reception custom tuxedos: @enzocustom

Reception Tux Shoes: @dukedexter

Reception watches: @allmies

Photography: @Scratchstudiosny (www.scratchstudios.co (not .com))

Videography: @ericmann_unreel

DJ: @Pennywildmusic

Cake: Showboybakeshop

Invitations: @MintedWeddings @minted

Party gifts: @yankeecandle @freshbeginningscookies

Ladies Dresses: @renttherunway

Flowers: @artisaneventfloraldecor

Table Numbers: @withloveandletters

Car: @vinty

Venue: Hyatt Regency Indian Well Resort

Event planner: @Lolakentweddingsandevents