Alex & Anthony: A Virtual Gay Wedding

Photo credit (all): David Perlman Photography

With everything in our lives going onto Zoom, why not weddings? Alex and Anthony are among those couples who have proceeded with their wedding, while under the Safe at Home mandates that have been imposed across the U.S., and especially in their hometown of New York.

Men’s Vows resident wedding expert, Jason Mitchell had the opportunity to interview them to share their story and their virtual wedding wisdom.

When was your wedding supposed to take place and when did you decide to postpone it?

We were supposed to get married on Saturday, March 21st at the Roundhouse in Beacon, New York. We made the decision to postpone the wedding about a week and a half prior to the date, on Thursday, March 12th.

Did your venue suggest doing this or would they still have hosted your event if you wanted?

It was a mutual decision between us and the venue, with both of us putting our guests' safety first. At the time that we made the call to postpone, the COVID-19 situation hadn't yet escalated to where it is today (i.e., social distancing wasn't yet in-place, bans of large events hadn't gone into effect). However, if we had continued to wait the decision out, we are certain that we would have reached the same conclusion.

Do you have flexibility with your new date in case the situation goes on longer than expected?

We are remaining optimistic that we will be able to host our wedding on our new date, November 8th, and have not yet developed a "Plan C". However, the Roundhouse has been excellent to work with throughout this process, and we would imagine that should the situation arise, we could likely postpone again.

What made you decide to still marry?

At the end of the day, while the pomp and circumstance of a large ceremony and reception is great (and we are looking forward to it!), we recognize that it isn't what getting married is about -- rather it's about our love for one another. We have been together for over five and a half years and felt ready to make this lifelong commitment, so we figured, why does it have to wait until November? Additionally, we recognized how tough this time has for everyone and wanted to create at least one small moment of joy for ourselves, our families, and our friends. So we got married outside with our officiant, a few friends and our families on Zoom. But, we did decide to save our vows for our “in-person wedding” in the fall.

How do you feel now that you are married?

All things considered, we feel great. We are glad that we decided to move forward with getting married on our original date, and feel a sense of security that we have the rights of a married couple during this tumultuous time. More broadly, we have remained level-headed throughout the whole postponement process, and recognize that many people are in more challenging, and in some cases, life-threatening circumstances, so us having to push back our wedding is not too significant compared to the havoc COVID-19 has wreaked on others. 

What are you most excited about for when you can finally have your wedding?

We cannot wait to see all of our family and friends in one place (and hopefully hug and kiss them)! This whole ordeal has reminded us what is most important for our wedding — being surrounded by those close to us. At this point, it could pour rain, our band couldn't show up, and the food could be terrible and we wouldn't really care so long as we have those near and dear to us present. And, of course, to share our vows with each other.

Did you do anything during this time of quarantine to make the day of the marriage special?

Instead of forcing ourselves to cook yet another meal, we treated ourselves to a massive dinner and dessert delivery! The little things (like taking a break from having to do the dishes) have sparked the most joy for us over the past few weeks.

Photo Credit (all): David Perlman Photography