Sam & Erik: Loving Out Loud

“Erik gave me an incredible gift that I didn’t know I needed.” While this is the realization that Sam shared the moment he said he’d marry Erik, it could ultimately describe the entirety of their relationship. 

Sam’s 20s were heady thanks to being in a long-term toxic relationship. But, by contrast, he was thriving as an early pioneer of influencer culture, finding and launching many of individuals’ careers, inevitably leading to his success as a digital content creator (The Frenchy Toast and @samuelanthony). “I spent all of my time trying to convince everyone that my life was perfect so I didn’t have to confront the reality that it wasn’t. I wasn’t in a relationship, I was in a competition.” 

But, as one does when life is tumultuous, we make it more so. “I threw a nuclear bomb at my life. I left LA. Moved to Phoenix to start fresh and pull it together,” Sam explained. And yet, as his 30th birthday approached, a milestone he’d normally have made a big event out of, Sam found himself in Las Vegas... by himself. “I was caught up in the youth-obsessed perception that 30 was old, and I did not have the husband, the kids, the car I’d pictured having by 30,” Sam said between laughs. 

Meanwhile, Erik was living life fully closeted, frat-house life in Las Vegas. 

Having confronted his fears of age and solitude, had what turned out to be “one of the best nights of my life” and… one of the best mornings. Still dazed, and very likely buzzed, from the night prior, Sam found himself in the elevator with Erik. “I don’t know what made me start talking to him. I am more of the predator that waits for the prey to come to him!” But, seemingly before the elevator hit the ground floor, the two were back in Sam’s suite. 

“We exchanged numbers, lying to each other that we’d be in touch,” explained Sam as he made his way to LA to be with friends. Before long, Sam was telling his best friend about his “ride” with Erik. She asked to see his picture and, when Sam said he didn’t have one, she demanded Sam text Erik to get one. Little did they all know that this would lead to Sam and Erik spending their lives together. 

“He sent the picture and we started talking again.” In all their talk, Erik invited Sam to join him in Hawaii. “He didn’t know who he was messing with because I was like ‘game on’ and if it doesn’t work out with him, I will find someone else there!” The trip afforded them the gift of falling for each other, catching each equally off guard. 

Once back from Hawaii, Erik visited Sam in Phoenix and before long, Sam asked Erik to leave Vegas and move in with him. These two hooked up minutes after meeting, went on a week-long first date a week after meeting, and moved in together after a month. “I had a strict rule that I’d not date someone closeted,” Sam said. 

Despite Erik and Sam being public about their relationship on their social feeds, Erik remained technically closeted. “His issue was that he felt bad about being gay. Therefore he was something bad and sharing that would let people down or lead them to believe something was bad.” Sam continued, “I scare people because I am so out there. Erik really scares people because they can’t even tell he is gay. I mean he watches sports. Golf even!”

He came out to the loving open arms of everyone in his circle of family and friends. And, of course, to his fair share of teasing. Hard to say you’re in the closet when your friends see pictures of you kissing your boyfriend on Instagram! 

Before long, Erik was supporting Sam’s social media endeavors (and eventually built his own photography practice and social following @casualfridaze51) and the two were spending every single day together. “We worked through some major shit, so I am not going to pretend our relationship was perfect. But, we got to a point where we knew we could work through anything through communication, and by getting to the point that we could allow each other to feel what we were feeling, even if we didn’t understand it.” 

One of those feelings was the urge to get engaged. And, for a couple living their life quite publicly, you can imagine that the engagement would be one for the “social media history books!” The two had discussed and planned various scenarios for their engagement, including getting engaged at the Cartier mansion in New York. But, as Sam said, “it was all getting too bougie and contrived.” 

On a trip to LA to visit friends over Martin Luther King Day Weekend, Sam and Erik stayed at the Hotel Figueroa. As was their way, they had planned many outings, photoshoots and social opportunities, but Erik wasn’t feeling well, leading to Sam inevitably not feeling well, even one of their friends who joined them on a fateful evening wasn’t feeling well. As Sam said, “everyone was really pushing through” to make the most of the weekend. 

Little did he know, Erik had planned a surprise proposal. “Our friend Becky was there to take us to our friend Becca’s house, and Erik asked her to take a few shots of us.” They were poolside under a flowered canopy, Sam thinking this was just another moment, like countless others, of the two creating content. Erik handed the camera off to Becky, and turned to Sam to propose. And, doing as what one does after being asked to marry, Sam smacked Erik! Then, he kissed him. Then, he cried. 

Their surprise engagement, led to a surprise engagement gathering in LA with some of his closest friends. News of their engagement was picked up by The Knot that weekend. Then, they set off an engagement-moon in San Francisco. Then, hosted another engagement in Phoenix. And, yet another back in LA. True to form, these two packed a lot in, in little time!

“We are each other’s priority. It is not work, and then the other. It is not family, and then the other. I will do anything for Erik. Anything.” One recipe for love turns out to be breaking the rules, setting aside expectations, living in the moment, and… taking the elevator!

Sam and Erik got engaged in Jaunary 2020 so it goes without writing that… their wedding was not what they originally planned. But, to find out all about their “wedding for two,” please listen to Sam and Erik’s wedding story on the podcast and take a peek at their wedding on Instagram.

WEDDING VENDOR LIST

Venue: @andazscottsdale
Food + Drinks: @weftandwarpaz x @andazscottsdale
Marquee Letters: @yourweddingletters
Photography: @hagop
Flowers: @venusetfleur
Rings: @greeneandco (custom)
Suits: @sandroparis
Masks: @sandroparis (custom)
Shoes: @koio (custom)
Skincare: @factorfiveskin + @luxuryskinscottsdale
Hair:@nicshair